New Week, Old Thoughts

Lots of the same old stuff has been running through my head lately. I feel like although they are disconnected, I should still give each a silent nod and a blurb.

Every time I think about the Family Support Group, my stomach gets tied up in knots. I am worried about not doing enough. I am worried about doing too much, seeming too pushy. I am worried that other people may not want me in the position I have taken, and that all my dreams will be crushed come election time. And not to mention "Wifey" (formerly known as SCBF). She adds fuel to the fire because I worry about what she has concocted and dragged me into every time she calls. I worry that it will all somehow become my fault and I will get blamed for everything if anything goes wrong...


Friends have always been a sticky subject for me. Most of the time, I feel like I don't have enough, or at least enough close ones. Sometimes I feel like I am spreading myself too thin, trying to be everyone's friend. That's how I feel right now. In my never-ending search for an eternal friend, I have made many arrangements with many people. All of whom I am happy to be spending time with. But I forget sometimes that I am a mommy now. I can't just up-and-make plans without thinking of James first. This has led to some exhausting days, trying to get too much done and keep James happy in between the running here and there to visit/hang out with various people. I am such a Gemini! Always flitting about, never happy to be in one place, but always longing to find one place to stay. *Sigh*



One thing that stresses me more than not having friends is having my family. I love 'em, I really do. I couldn't have made it this far in life without my family having molded me into the person I've become, and accepting me for it. That being said, I think I may shoot myself come mid-July. What was I thinking when I agreed to a family vacation to Florida???? As if the heat, humidity, and crowds isn't enough by itself, I will be making this venture alone, baby in tow, without my husband! Just me and my parents and brothers. Everyone knows how family trips go. The chaos has already started, and it's only March! If the Family Support Group doesn't give me and ulcer, then this trip will! Mostly, it's the worry that my parents feel that they have to shoulder the monetary burden for everything on the trip. Every time I mention something I want to do, or that my brothers, S-I-L and I have thought would be fun, I get a lecture about how much it costs and how they can't afford to pay for everyone to do that. I keep telling them (mom especially) that it's not their job to pay for everything, that we have been saving money for this for a long time and want to pay for ourselves. But it's not getting through to them! Mom, if you read this, pay attention! You don't HAVE to worry about paying! We got it covered!!!


I need to post pics of new crafts and knitting I've done. And James. I have to make a special blog for James so that everyone can see his pics without having to download them. Stay tuned for that project.


Gotta go tackle some Yoga now. Have to stay on track for the Fatty Challenge.